The Changing Blues

Today has been all about change...why?? Because I left with a baby and came home with a ONE year old!! Well, technically, I think by age one you are still considered a baby, but certainly not the baby I left with!!  The baby I left with cuddled with me while he drank formula from a bottle three times a day, and the baby I left with wore 9mon clothes still, and the baby I left with still enjoyed playing with all the baby rattles because he hadn't been introduced to big boy toys yet, like ride-on diggers or Little People airplanes...

<Insert big face with smile upside down>  

I've got the blues...the changing blues.

I'm not very good with change, apparently.

And it's not like it's necessarily a sad kinna blues, it's more of a very nostalgic type of blues.

That's what I am, nostalgic.

I've shed all kinds of tears today, they just spring up unannounced while I sort and organize new clothes and put away old ones, or while I clean baby bottles for the last time before Daniel stores them away in the attic, or while putting away the baby toys he's going to ignore (did I mention he has this new super cool ride-on digger from his Uncle Adam?!?! no wonder the little green plastic dinosaur that squeaks with colorful rubber keys attached has gotten zero attention today!).

Having to tackle all these sudden changes all at once has done me in! These feelings just sort of crept up on me today.  On Owen's actual birthday I just felt happy and glad to have survived this sometimes difficult year.  But then today happened, and I really realized that my baby boy isn't such a baby any more, he's changing, and that's a good thing really, and I'm excited about what's to come, but it still makes me, well, nostalgic (I wonder how many times I can write that word today?).  

I remember while working at the day care during college, a mom had come to pick up her adorable little girl, probably 9-10 months at the time, and I replayed an event for her that occurred during the day where the little girl tried over and over to get her head on the right spot in the Bobby to lay down and drink her bottle (instead of allowing us to lay her down like usual).  The mom's reaction was nothing like I had expected.  She just glanced at her daughter with a sort of sad smile on her face and just said, "Oh, she's sure growing up huh?"  I had expected more of an excited response, one that started with laughter at her daughter's goofy antics and then something like this, "She did! O wow, she's getting so big! I'm so proud she knows how to move her body like that, she sure is smart and creative!"  Maybe those are thoughts that occurred later to this mom, but her initial response was one of sadness.  Sad that time is too gosh darn consistent.  There is no rewind button, or fast forward button, or pause button, just time, that methodically changes at a constant rate, and simultaneously changing our babies into toddlers and our toddlers into kids and our kids into *GASP* teenagers and our teenagers into adults! Whoa, whoa!

breath...

I am looking forward to what all those future stages bring, and I am glad I get to fondly look back to remember the good times during Owen's first year (and during Selah's 4th year...she turns 4 in three weeks!! Ahh!), so I'll end the night with all those nostalgic (last time!) feelings behind me, and fall asleep in anticipation of what tomorrow will bring!