What I Always Hope To Remember

We were on our way to the library one afternoon, and on our drive I decided to let the kids look through the books we were about to return one last time.  They both sat back there so quietly; peacefully engaged in their books.  It seems so simple, but it was one of those moments where I couldn't believe it was actually happening, where I felt like the absolute luckiest person in the world to get to be the mother of these two children.  There was no music playing, just the sounds of pages turning, Selah whispering phrases of a story here and there, and Owen squealing or grunting while pointing at pictures that piqued his interest.  I almost contemplated passing by the library and eventually doing a U-turn further down the road because I didn't want that moment to end, I wanted to stay in that peaceful place forever.  But, I didn't, I turned into the library, knowing we had a short amount of time to return old books and pick out new ones before heading home to make dinner.  So, we pulled into the library and parked.  Peaceful moment, over.

Our time at the library was typical. Good? Yes, but typical, let me explain.

There was the challenge of keeping Owen content in his stroller, which only lasts so long, then, once out of the stroller, the struggle to keep him from pulling unwanted books off the shelf, stealing others personal belongings, or climbing on tables resumes.  Selah is also guilty of pulling off unwanted books, grabbing whatever she sees and piling all kinds of books into the stroller, eventually causing others to tumble to the ground, which inevitably, as I bend down to pick up the books, Owen has taken the opportunity to climb either a stool to the computers or the chair to the window ledge which contains several clear signs that say THANK YOU FOR NOT STANDING, RUNNING, WALKING ON LEDGE... ehem, you're welcome?! sometimes? Selah is also begging repeatedly in my ear to play on the computers, which eventually become unoccupied and both kids clamor over to the screens flashing bright, fun images of beloved characters like Elmo and Dora.  Selah instantly becomes engaged in her game and Owen bangs on the keyboard, pulls at the wires, sings a loud, jolly, tongue-tied tune while peeking over the top of the screen at big sister.  In between all of this I've met a new friend, another half-crazed mom of two young children, and we try to carry on a conversation while simultaneously understanding each others inability to do so, while ALSO looking for new books that I think the kids will learn from and enjoy...O ya, that, the reason we came in the first place...ai yi yi!  

I know what you're thinking... what library do the Treibers go to and what time, I will plan my library visits accordingly!  

However, I'm fairly certain we appear, to the everyday library-goer, to have things pretty much under control, but from my perspective, we are just a loud, active mess.  Mostly because of the inner turmoil going on trying to prevent anything super destructive from happening, the prevention is what is exhausting. 

We *almost* made it to the car in one piece, Owen bumped his lip on the stroller tray while I shimmied us down the curb, and he screamed, until we were about half way home, he screamed...sigh. 

Then, I began to reflect on our library adventure.  I remembered that moment in the car, that perfect moment, and I started thinking back to a few of the wonderful moments back in the library and I realized, I don't want to spend my time dwelling on those stressful moments that parenthood is scattered with (or, um, saturated with, that might be a better word at times), but rather, I want to keep vivid those memories that make parents much further along on their journey say things like, 

"Enjoy every moment!!" and "They grow up way too fast, don't they?!".  

These veteran parents are not remembering those middle of the night wake up calls for feedings, fears, or illnesses, 

or the inconvenience of stopping everything in search of a nearby restroom for a potty emergency, for the 3rd time, 

or the time you sit down to a warm meal you have worked hard to make only to be asked to get another cup of milk while one child throws their bowl of applesauce off their tray upon your return, which splatters onto the floor, walls, and your pants, and the cup of refilled milk accidentally tips and white liquid seeps into placemats, the newly refilled napkin holder (of course!), and scattered pieces of construction paper with half finished creations that didn't quite get hung up yet...the list of events parents seem to eventually forget is long, but that's the thing, that's the key, they forget, or at least keep them from invading the forefront of their memories.

But I knew I needed something tangible to keep my focus, 
so I started this list, 
a list of things I always hope to remember...    

Owen’s smile that slowly creeps upon his face in that genuine way that only a child can manage when the tub is filling up with water and the bubbles start to form at his feet

Watching Owen sitting on Daddy’s lap, intently listening as Daddy sings the words and Owen studies the illustrations of Night Night Baby or It's Pajama Time

How I know that when I ask Owen to bring me a book, 
8 times out of 10 I will be reading Farmer in the Dell 

and how he climbs in my lap, grabs my hand if need be, 

and places it on the book, just in case I had intentions of 

doing anything other than be his storyteller

The way Selah sweetly says, “Aww, it’s okay Buddy, it's okay.” whenever Owen seems upset or the way she studies him, then gives a little chuckle and says, "Owen, you're so cute! So cute!"

The way Selah quietly, and thoughtfully, creeps into bed with us in the morning  to snuggle with us until we are ready to get up or 

Owen’s morning stirrings start picking up on the monitor

Owen’s big bear hugs around the neck with his soft, plump cheeks pressed against mine

Selah's love for books and the way she will sit for long periods of time looking through pictures and making up stories, 

sometimes to the less than respectful audience of a little brother

The side step, crab-like dance moves Owen has mastered

The way Owen's soft, plump fingers gently brush past my hand as he turns the page in a book we are reading before bed, the gentle rhythm of the glider, and the soft glow of the lamp behind us

The way Owen leans in for a kiss on the cheek, or the way he softly strokes my hair while I hold him on my hip and stir the steaming soup on the stove

How the kids eagerly help put groceries away and the slight grins of pride that creep up after they finish 

The way Owen patiently places the wand for the bubbles into the container, pressing the soapy wand to his lips to blow but leaving tiny bubbles behind

The pure joy painted on Owen's face when he sees me for the first time on Saturday mornings after Daniel has let me sleep in

Selah’s way of randomly and frequently yelling out, “Mom!" then responding to my, "Yes?" with an “I love you!!” 

Owen's way of saying "Ey yuu ooo" (I love you)

How Owen reflexively lifts his left hand straight into the air and starts strumming an imaginary guitar with his right while stomping around, anytime music starts

Playing Hi Ho Cherry-O, Princess Go Fish, or Sequence with Selah; 
watching the delight she feels in winning, and the graciousness she shares in losing 

The way Selah giggles and wrinkles up her nose when 

Daddy says something goofy

The concentration on Owen’s face as he pulls the lid off a marker, his grin at this accomplishment, and then the pursed lips, chin up demeanor as he creates his masterpiece

The sounds of Selah as she lulls herself to sleep by sucking on her blanky and rubbing the soft fibers against her cheeks

Listening to Selah engaged in honest worship to our good, good God, singing loud His praises in the car, grocery store, park, stroller, everywhere

Any thing that proceeds after the phrase, "MOM! I have an IDEA! How about I be the... {dentist, mom, teacher, princess}?"

Selah's passionate, thoughtful prayers to Jesus, and the way she recites Bible verses with impressive accuracy

Owen's excitement at the sight of any animal, the way he ran up to the neighbor's dog, contorted his body to get on her level, stuck out his itty bitty tongue, wiggled it from side to side and panted to mimic the four-legged friend

Selah's generosity, and the way she gets excited 

when she offers you a piece of her candy or a toy

Owen holding a computer mouse to his ear and pretending it's a phone, saying "hELLooo" to the imaginary person on the other line

The shrieks of pure joy as both kids run in circles around our house while Daddy chases them down, scoops them up in his big, strong arms, 

and tosses them on the couch, 

into the tickle monster's (mama's) arms and the giggles that burst forth

Sitting on a rocking chair, watching the kids play in the backyard.

 Owen shoveling rocks, both into a bucket and his mouth, and Selah organizing the acorns she's collected. Or divvying up the flat (they have to be flat) rocks she's found 

And, of course,

Both kids quietly, peacefully looking through library books in the backseat on our way to return them, 

that one, I'm sure, will always stand out.

This list will always be growing as I seek out new delights in my everyday, and one of my hopes in doing this is to be able to appreciate the small, simple pleasures of parenthood now, not only as I look back nostalgically once my kids are grown.  There is always going to be craziness and frustrations and weariness and moments I'd rather forget, but it's those moments I hope to always remember that will keep me going, keep me focused on what matters, and fill my heart cup to the brim.    

  

Silly English: Make-Up

Oh English, you're so silly sometimes! Like the way you have some words that are spelled the same and sound the same yet mean two very different things... that is SILLY!  And, it can be totally confusing to one who is new to this language and trying to learn it, like my kids.  It makes for some good laughs, like the other day...

We were walking to gymnastics class on a Wednesday morning, which is different than usual because normally we walk to gymnastics on Friday morning, but because Selah had been sick one of her class days we were taking a MAKE-UP class.  

I had been telling Selah about this make-up class for a week or so, letting her know that we wouldn't be going to the library on Wednesday morning this particular week because we would be going to a MAKE-UP gymnastics class instead.  She would often remind me that we could not miss her MAKE-UP class on Wednesday.  She thought about, and talked often of this class.  

Well, as we are strolling along the sidewalk, she sits up straight, looks back at me in horror, and say,

"MOM! You forgot to put on my lipstick, and eye stuff!!"

At this point I'm clueless, I have no idea what she's talking about.  She sees the clear confusion written all over my face and continues to explain,

"It's my MAKE-UP class! I need to put my MAKE-UP on!!"

She's exasperated...distraught...and I'm cracking up because it finally dawned on me that she thinks this gymnastics class she is going to on a new day is one in which you wear make-up to...duh, why else would they call it a MAKE-UP class.  

Then I just start stumbling over my words and defining make-up with the word make-up, which is helpful...but I finally manage to explain that it really means she is just redoing the class she missed when she was sick, which I think she understood, maybe, a little bit.  I dunno, but she wasn't freaking out about her bare, unmade-up face anymore...sweet girl.

This happens so many times throughout our days, so I plan to keep this "Silly English" thing going and make it a series, if I can remember...that's the key.  

Please feel free to share any silly moments English has brought to you and your family in the comments, I'd love to hear them!!    

Bedtime Brain Busters

The older Selah gets, the longer the process is to get that child in bed for the night.  

When she was an infant I would simply bath her, dress her, read her a quick picture book, sing to her and say a quick prayer over her.  Thirty minutes, tops, from start to finish.

As she's gotten older, bedtime has doubled in time.  So, why on God's green Earth, I decide to add more to the routine, I just don't know...

Well, actually, I do know, I love spending time with her.  I don't get a ton of one-on-one time with her and those minutes right before I tuck her in and turn out the lights seem to be the sweetest of moments.  It's a time that isn't rushed and it's without distractions   It's just me and her, on her bed, reading, chatting, praying, giggling.  It's where I hear the most about her day, where she divulges all her innermost feelings, concerns, questions, thoughts.  She's also a pro at stalling, so I'm sure that plays a role in her willingness to let me in on her little world.  

I recently stumbled upon THIS blog, where this mom talks about those special bedtime moments. 

It encouraged me to keep that time unhurried, and cling onto that time with Selah like the way Owen clings to his coveted snack cup.  (Read and view photos of that here, it's intense...)  

I realize (but optimistically hold out hope) that this time is short, this time that she desires to spend so much time with me and tell me everything, all those details of her life that are important to her.  I hope with all my heart she will always desire to share her world with me, I learn so much from her.  

Anyway, that is why I decided to add one more thing to our bedtime routine: 

BEDTIME BRAIN BUSTERS
I'm sure there is a cuter, more creative name for this, but for now, it's all I got.

These are some questions I came up with, with some help from this website, to ask Selah at the end of everyday.  She really looks forward to getting to pick one out of the bucket, and she makes sure I never forget! I really, really enjoy hearing her answers and dialoging about questions I earnestly want answers to...here are some of the questions:

• What is your favorite part of the day: morning or afternoon? Why?
• What is your favorite things to do with Mommy? Daddy? Owen?
• How were you a good friend today?
• What is something that makes you sad?
• What is something that made you laugh today?
• What is something that makes you angry?
• Have you ever seen one of your friends sad? How did you help to make them feel better?
• What is your favorite Bible story?
• If you could ask Jesus anything, what would it be?
• What is a question you would like to ask me tonight?
• If you could be any animal what would you be and why?
• When you are tired would you rather have someone read you a book or watch a TV show?
• What is your favorite game on the iPad?
• What is your favorite game?
• Has God talked to you today? What did He say?
• What is something you would like to learn to do someday?
• How can you show someone kindness tomorrow?
• What is your favorite meal of the day?
• Who do you like to play with the most? Why?
• If you could be anyone from a book who would you be?

I will keep adding questions and we will also repeat the questions because I'm sure some of the answers are bound to be different the older she gets.  I'll also have to modify the questions the older she gets as well.  Some of these things we discuss are topics we discuss during the day too, but there is something about the quiet and stillness of her room that brings out the best conversations.

What are some questions you would add to this list?? What does your bedtime routine look like? 

Thanks for reading!!

The P Word

The moment my first child was born there was this common phrase that played over and over in my head:

 WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?!?!?!

Thankfully, I have learned a few things about motherhood since that fateful day in July, I'm no expert, far from it, but I have learned things here and there about parenting the children God gave me.  But then, just when I think I have one area figured out, I'm thrown a curve ball and that phrase screams back at me...what the heck am I doing?!?!

And so, I'm still learning, always, always learning...and this week I learned the importance of the P word: PREPARATION

Here's how the lesson went down...

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning, my kids were both in a fantastic mood and we were all looking forward to the morning's activities: the dentist and the library.  

I had a few expectations for the dentist appointment. I figured Selah would handle the appointment like she has every single doctor appointment she has ever had since she was an itty bitty baby.  She's always handled all her well-checks, sick appointments, eye doctor appointments, dentist appointments, SURGERY like a champ. She is generally pretty quiet, responds kindly to the doctors with a sweet smile, calmly does what the doctor asks of her, and observes every action in curiosity and wonder.  She's always been a joy to take to the doctor, even for shots she would scream for a few seconds and almost immediately resume her calm, joyful demeanor.  Now, for Owen, he has pretty much hated every single one of his experiences with doctors.  He doesn't enjoy people touching, poking, prodding at him, especially people he has never met before, and he is pretty stone-faced, serious, and struggles against everything the doctor is trying to do.  I can count on one hand the number of times we have left the doctor's office without tears streaming down his sweet, chubby cheeks.  So, naturally, I assumed this particular dentist appointment would mimic all previous doctor appointments.  Boy was I in for a surprise!

Selah has been to the dentist three times back when we lived in Austin, but not since we moved almost a year and a half ago.  That's quite a long time for a young girl, and I didn't even think about the fact that she probably doesn't remember going to the dentist or what the dentist even does.  I had briefly mentioned that we needed to brush our teeth really well since we were going to the dentist, but I'm not sure she put two and two together. 

It was awful guys... by far the worst experience I have every had at any doctor for either child ever... it was BAAAAD! 

It started out okay, there were super fun (and super organized, seemingly clean, which I happen to love) toys in the waiting room and the office staff were extremely kind and friendly.  They engaged Selah in conversation once they called her back and they kept doting on how cute her glasses were and her tattoos on her arms and wondering where she got them and about her birthday...yada yada yada, super friendly.  Then...then, they tried to take X-rays of her teeth, which is something new and something I didn't know they were going to do.  Well, you small-mouthed people out there will understand the pain associated with these dreaded X-rays when they try to dig that hard, poky piece of film into your cheeks to get a good look at those pearly whites.  I have always hated that part!  And, now, Selah made her hatred for this procedure very clear as well.  After the first attempt, and discovering the uncomfortableness of it all, she refused to open her mouth again for the poor, patient hygienist.  She cried, she screamed, she flailed and kicked and REFUSED to cooperate.  I, who was holding Owen at the time (who was also stinky with a dirty diaper, he always has the best timing), tried to calm her down, I tried to reason with her, I tried to remind her of her favorite verse (God is with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9), I held her hand, and I tried to sing a song she learned from Daniel Tiger about closing your eyes and thinking of something happy (this was her successful plan for her 4 year old shots last month).  At some point, one of those strategies somewhat worked, at least for the split second it took to pry her mouth open, ask her to clamp down on the piece, and snap the picture.  DONE! Okay, phew, that should be the end of that craziness...right?? Wrong! 

Another hygienist took over for her cleaning, and she was super, super sweet, and, super, super, pregnant (this is important to know), and she thoroughly explained all her tools she would be using and she let Selah touch them and play with them a bit.  She was in a much better mood.  They put some headphones on her and laid her back where there was a movie playing for her to watch as her teeth were being cleaned...seems fun, no big deal.  Well, as they were going to suck the water from her mouth with that suction thingy she freaked, again, but this time way worse.  It's like she snapped, and there was no going back.  She eventually had to sit on my lap facing me, with her head in the hygienist's lap, while being held down (let me remind you, that during this time, smelly Owen is around, one of the other sweet hygienists attempted to hold him for me, but that just resulted in more screaming and thrashing about, so I just somewhat held him next to me while trying to restrain Selah).  I was all for just giving up and trying again another time, but they insisted on pushing through.  This poor pregnant lady with Selah's head on her limited lap space throwing her head about like a mad woman...it was like I was in the twilight zone and I really had no idea how to respond to this unexpected reaction to dental work.  I felt so inadequate as a parent, mostly because my child was scared and sad and potentially traumatized forever (good news, turns out she isn't forever traumatized, but at the moment it sure felt like she would be).  I felt like the worst mother ever!  I hated seeing her so upset, not because I was annoyed or embarrassed, but because I put her in a situation that brought her pain and caused her fear...I didn't adequately PREPARE her for this situation.  Then the dentist came in, and all he wanted to do was count her teeth with that little mirror thing, but she wouldn't have it so she just sat on my lap and he somewhat counted and checked her teeth with his fingers.  

She was done after that...thank God! But, I knew Owen was next, and based on his history with doctors, I was terrified of what was to come.  Turns out, Owen doesn't mind the dentist in the least.  He didn't make a peep.  Just laid there and let the hygienist and doctor do their thang without any struggle, without any tears...it was a miracle really.  I just kept saying, "I can't believe this, this is sooooo not what I expected this morning to be like!" I was so grateful for his calmness and bringing some peace (and humor) to a very stressful time.  During Owen's exam Selah is bouncing, chatting, and singing happily around the room with her newly acquired balloon, sticker, and bracelet.  I was confused, but thankful, and that's when I realized she wasn't going to be traumatized for life after all.  She resumed about her business happily as if nothing awful happened just 5 short minutes ago.  Kids...

I was so overwhelmed and in so much shock at the time that it took me a while to figure out what the heck had happened in that place, but I think I figured it out.  That P word.  I didn't prepare Selah for this experience in anyway, and I set us all up for failure.  I have been making a conscious effort to prepare Selah for future situations.  Sometimes it is hard to do and it can be hard to remember, but I'm trying, I'm learning.  Things always go so much smoother when I remember!  I know I can't prepare her for everything all the time and she needs to learn to adapt and roll with the punches, but I can do my best to prepare her for the big things, like doctor appointments...

I'm so not looking forward to our next visit in 6 months!! Kids don't really need dentists right?? Their teeth just fall out eventually...right?? No...hmmm...bummer.

Thanks for reading!! :)  I'd love to hear what you have learned as a mother...share the knowledge!!    

         

Picture Day

Do family picture days ever go as planned?!  

Well, ours sure didn't!  And, depending on who you ask, it went both better than and worse than expected...I guess Daniel anticipated it being MISERABLE and I anticipated it going BLISSFULLY.  We were both a tad off, and we met somewhere in the middle at PRETTY DARN WELL. 

We all got up early Saturday morning (which is no different than every single Saturday since Selah was born four years ago!) and got showered, dressed, and picture perfect.  Then, we drove about 40 minutes to pick up our photographer for the day, Mark Rocha (or Uncle Marky Rocha as Selah likes to call him, OR honorary Uncle Marky Rocha because Selah was confused as to why he is considered her uncle but not really Daniel's "brother", that is confusing...) and then drove about 15 minutes more to the Dallas Arboretum...a beautiful spot in Dallas with lovely flowers, trees, shrubbery and such.  The kids actually did fantastic on this long drive, but I bet it played a small factor in the crankiness/antsiness level later that morning.

We quickly realized there would be a few hurdles to jump in order to capture some heart-warming, candid shots of joyous children frolicking in the beauty of nature with their parents looking on, bursting with love and gratefulness (see what I mean by "blissfully"?).  It was only 10:00 and it was sooooo hot and sooooo humid, gross.  They also must have watered that morning because all the grass was soaked.  And since we didn't bring a blanket of any sort, my plans for sweet ground shots of us all playing in the grass were looking unrealistic...sad.  Annnnd, the beautiful crape myrtle trees that line a path were not in full bloom anymore, bummer.    

Somewhere in the middle hunger crept in and could not be ignored, and the heat, o my, did I mention the heat, and the humidity that brings tiny hovering bugs out in droves!! We vowed to never take outside pictures during the summertime again, well, in Texas anyway. Along the way I also stepped in a patch of super slippery mud as I was carrying Owen...thank goodness I didn't fall down completely, but I sure did slide (gracefully, no doubt) covering my sandals and feet (with their newly polished nails) in brown goo... awesome.

Selah was also not too pleased that I kept running up to her and pulling up her way-too-baggie-for-her skirt I bought in a 4T...I know better, she still wears PJs that are size 24 months!!  She also just recently got new glasses (like 3 days before these pictures) and I think they affected her smile.  This is only her second pair of glasses, and she had her other ones since she was 18 months old, so I don't think she is used to how they sit on her face she kinna had this scrunched up smile thing goin' on, dont' get me wrong, it's cute, she's cute, adorable actually, but it's just not her usual huge, uninhibited smile I've grown accustomed to...Oh, and Owen's shoes kept falling off, also too big, but this time not my fault, WalMart's fault, because apparently their size 4 isnt' really a size 4 because all his shoes are 4s and they fit fine.  Anyway, 

it really wasn't all bad, and mostly, I'm a bit dramatic (as I think I've admitted to you before), and mostly it was all good.  We captured some fun moments, I don't know how, but oh-so-patient Mark got quite a few beautiful (and quite funny!) shots, take a look, blooper reel first:  

Way to be the only one ready Miss Selah Renae!!
You go girl!

This is Daniel's "I'm telling you what to do,
and you need to obey", stern look

Antsy...

yet happy and smiley

Love her!

Remember that hunger that couldn't be denied?!

The calm before the storm...

If you ever wanted to know what it looks like to take
away this little boy's snack cup, well,
there ya go, pure devastation...
and there's a rockstar sister right there,
she was being so patient.

Not! Happy!

Needless to say, the cup remained with us the rest of
the picture taking adventure... as least he's generous,
Daddy looked like he could use some Cheerios too.

Oh, the antsiness

This face! HA! I don't think I have ever
seen her so stoic.

My Boys!!
Caught Daniel in a true, genuine laugh/smile!!
I LOOOOVE that look!
And Owen is doing what makes him happy, snacking.

Sometimes you just need to slouch, ya know?

He will not be contained much longer...

Mom, seriously, let. me. down...
I'll stick my belly out, really far, people
will think you only feed me donuts and smore's,
I'll do it, I will.

poor guy...

time for a change.

This hunger issue must been worse than I thought...
the girl's eating her accessories!

o, now this is just pitiful...we were
in desperate need of some goofy faces!

Notice that lovely mud all over my foot...
kinna looks like a tattoo, but it's not, I'm not that cool.

I guess I missed the memo that we were supposed to look
everywhere BUT the camera... my bad, my bad

Believe it or not, we DID get a good one
from this spot...you'll see later!

  

  

    

















And now, for the highlight reel:

I LOVE this one!

I love my family!!

I love it all!

All the good,

all the bad,

and all that's in between.

No other people would

I rather spend my whole

life learning to love well!